Give Me the Files, Mr. Jophan

Players’ Rules

1. The first line (and hence, the beginning of the game) should be something along the lines of “Give me the files, Mr. Jophan.” A player may substitute a different name for Mr. Jophan, such as the name of his opponent. For matters of clarity in these rules, the first player shall be called Player A. Player A’s goal is to get the files.
2. The second player (Player B) responds to Player A with a statement about why he can’t or won’t relinquish the files. This is Player B’s goal.
3. Turns alternate between players until one concedes the game or play is halted by a Judge.
4. Any statement made by a player is taken as “fact” for the duration of the game except when a statement contradicts a previously established “fact.” (Note: this rule can be negated by a player cleverly explaining [during his turn] exactly why the new information supercedes the previous fact, or if a previously stated “fact” may be perceived as opinion. It is up to the judges to make this determination.) The game is strictly verbal and imaginary, no props or contact between players are allowed (nor should they be necessary).

Judging

1. The judges’ rulings are primarily based on aesthetics and the cleverness of the responses.
2. The game ends when one player concedes, or
3. The judges may halt the game for any of the following reasons:
1. one player is unable to provide a response. It is up to the judges to decide how long a player is allowed to pause in formulating an answer.
2. a player essentially repeats a previous statement
3. play has degenerated into little more than “he said, she said."
4. The judges will designate one player as the winner and the next round may start.

Tournament Play

1. For this competition, play will be “round robin” style with single elimination (Note: if only a few participants are playing, double elimination may be used.)
2. The winner of each round will face a new opponent.
3. When a new round starts, the previous round’s winner will switch to the opposite Player. (i.e., If, in the previous round, the winner was Player A, for the next round, he will be Player B, or vice/versa.) Last Player standing will be declared “Super Spy,” and awarded the Official Files.

An example of play, with comments:

• Player A: Give me the files, Mr. Jophan. (Always the first move.)
• Player B: I cannot give you the files; your security clearance isn’t high enough.(Player B starts the game by establishing a useful fact.)
• Player A: Ah, but that is where you are wrong. My security clearance was sufficiently upgraded just this morning. Give me the files. (Player A provides a clever explanation of why the fact is incorrect.)
• Player B: Not 20 minutes ago, I was informed by your supervisor that your security clearance was rescinded. You cannot have the files. (Player B tries the same tactic; a reasonable play.)
• Player A: Considering you and my supervisor are under investigation for treason, I hardly think you’re in a position to dispute my clearance. I want those files now. (Player A chooses to introduce a new fact that contradicts a previous fact. Since this fact is new, play continues.)
• Player B: That investigation is bogus and was designed to flush out the real traitor – you!. The files will remain with me.
• Player A: But…um…I, uh…but… (The judges halt the game since Player A cannot adequately respond. Player B is declared the winner and the next round starts.)

This page last updated on March 15, 2004.